


Under Cardiac Arrest

by Aesa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Cancer, Confessions, Forgiveness, Head Injury, Heart Attacks, Heartbreak, Insecurity, Life Lessons, Loss of Trust, Love Is Not Always Easy, Love Needs Caretaking, Love/Hate, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Examination, Mentions of Cancer, Mistakes, Misunderstandings, Near Death Experiences, Regret, Teamwork, Trust, everyone working in a hospital, fight for love, life support, train crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-15 13:04:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3448193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesa/pseuds/Aesa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After nervously waiting, Eren Jäger got notice that he passed the second step of the USMLE for medical doctors to start his one year long internship at Survey Medical Hospital. He already knew what he wanted to specialize in his residency. Eren’s heart lay within the field of oncology and being able to find a cure for cancer. But he also found something else in the short, slightly mean cardiologist Levi Ackermann – a mentor, friend and lover. Unfortunately hearts are fragile organs. If they are not treated with care they can break easily and can only be put together with the aid of another heart that is beating for the broken one. Sometimes it is too late to repair the damage. It leaves you behind without the ability to breath, leaves you behind with a sudden stop of blood circulation leaves you behind with an emptiness that feels like it can never be filled again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> I give you guys a fair warning – I am by no means a medical student but a researcher for certain things. Should there be happenings which are not possible or just completely wrong, let me know and I correct it as fast as possible.  
> How did I end up writing this plot? There are a lot of reasons behind it! One would be that reading various stories about Levi and Eren pushed the idea in my head. Another would be listening to songs while reading and encouraging my imagination to spread. Sometimes the plot of a story didn’t turn out as expected (which is a good thing, really – I hate predictability and am not sure if I can pull something good of) and left me with myself. That is when I decided to consider writing something myself.  
> As life is being busy and I have to research for some parts to write (though I already did some research at this point) chapters could take a while – but I set myself a goal to at least try to pull a semi-weekly upload (the best would be weekly) but I just don’t want to make unreasonable promises. It is just an experiment I am trying out. I just have to figure out myself if it is worth experimenting on. Even if it would take a long time to finish.  
> Also I usually tend to end things I started – I hate unfinished things, they leave me so …. unfinished. You know?  
> And the last point for this introduction would be that English is not my native language. So, if there is grammar or other writing mistakes just call me out on it and I fix that up. As I use English rather often in daily life (small-talk, work, study, reading, …) it became a second mother-tongue for me – and before I bore you even more, off to the “Prolog”. I hope there is someone out there who might be enjoying what I came up with. Till then!  
> :-*

[Background Music](http://youtu.be/QuNhTLVgV2Y)

 

A young man was watching as the landscape passed by continuously, making it appear that you entered a new world. Escaping from big skyscrapers, many cars and people into where the nature still ruled. Trees, bushes, flowers and green grass started to break through the last remains of winter and offered a sight of new beginnings. Covered under a layer of snow, nature started to become stronger again and bypassed the cruelty of a cold, icy, colourless winter. Nature gave the young man an example that there is always going to colour in the world, even if moments before it appeared that you would ever be able to seem them with your own eyes ever again. Not seeing the colours didn’t mean that they don’t exist. You have to believe and keep going and someday they are going to be there for you again.

With a heavy sigh the young man leaned his forehead against the cold window. His warm breath slightly visible on the window as his bright green eyes took in the changing landscape. The warmth and joy and every single other emotion, which usually was displayed in those deep green eye, held a fog in them that made them dull. His brown hair was a mess. It wasn’t shiny anymore. Looking at him made it obvious the energy that was stored in him was completely used. There was nothing left in him. At least that was how he felt. To be honest, he didn’t even know how he should feel anymore.

What did he do?

How come he deserved something like this?

What went wrong?

When?

He didn’t know anymore. The more he thought about it, the lesser he knew and everything became even more blurry … more painful … more realization that he was all alone.  
No one was around him.

He deserved it. Didn’t he? Otherwise he wouldn’t be alone!

But did a person really deserve being deserted by everyone?

Being left alone in this world?

Oh what would he give to turn back the time and change everything. Or even lessen the outcome! But would it be different? Would he be with them? Or would he still be here? In this train? Forced to think about the past two weeks? Forced to make a change in his life?  
“Oh dear!” It was a smoky voice of a woman that reached his ear. “What is with this defeated look on your face? It doesn’t suit you, darling!”

The young boy turned his eyes towards the voice.

In front of him was an elderly woman with white hair. That much he could recognize but he wouldn’t know anything else if asked later. He only remembered this warm smile and eyes that were forwarded to him. There was a small pull in his stomach and his heart ached a little. It felt nice having someone look at him like that. It was a nice feeling … he didn’t feel this look since about two weeks ago.

Having this look on him … he felt sad. It reminded him of everything what had crossed his mind till now.

“What ever happened, darling!”, the elderly woman proceeded. “It is not the end of the world. You are going to overcome this and enjoy the rest of your life fully. You are still so young. There is so much you can still do. Don’t through it away!”

The young boy managed to form a small smile.

Maybe this woman was right!

Maybe he put too much thought into it, like he usually did.

Maybe he formed a too fast conclusion to something that wasn’t really worth losing it over.  
Even if he wouldn’t be staying and working with them anymore there was still the hope that they could remain friends. Yes, that was why he way sitting in this train. To give everyone the chance to give them time. After a while he would seek them out and start talking with them. Maybe then they would understand that he didn’t know about anything. That everything had been a misunderstanding and ended up hurting everyone … created a chaos … spread mistrust … broke bonds … bonds that were supposed to be unbreakable. But nothing can last forever, right?

The boy let out a silent, weird chuckle.

Fuck! That was so unlike him!

Being so negative! So damn negative!

He was never like that!

But he couldn’t help himself in this situation!

It was never supposed to be like this!

Why?

He didn’t know anymore!

The determination that was radiating out of every pore of him was just ticking over. There was just a little bit left of his self-consciousness.

But was that really it?

The solution?

He tried everything what was possible!

But it wasn’t enough!

He needed a bit more time. Maybe then it was possible to solve what happened.  
Explain himself and make everyone LISTEN. Just listening would have spared a lot of things that happened. Why didn’t anyone seem to believe him?

Why were they all avoiding him?

Was he really not worth their friendship?

Their love?

His love?

He needed a bit more time to think. The others needed more time to think! Then they could talk it out!

And then …

And then they could roll up what happened.

It wouldn’t be him if he just gave up so easily.

But it would be his hardest fight!

But he had to!

But there was still this lingering feeling that if he was worth fighting for.

He wanted to be worth fighting for!

He was going to prove it to them … even if it was going to be hard!

Even if it should break him more … but there was no way he could break more than he already did.

There …

Before he could put an end to his thoughts everything came crushing down.

Blinding light!

Screeching of breaks!

Screaming people!

Loud voices and sounds all around him.

Pain!

This young boy … this young man … was Eren Jäger.

With his last breath he was able to form one word!

One single word!

“Levi!”

His love.

Then … nothing … just nothing.


	2. Chapter 1 - I feel good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling good about finally holding the proof in your hands for passing an exam you spent learning for a looong period of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there,
> 
> The chapter ended up written faster than I thought. I was bitten by inspiration. That is a wonderful thing! I even got to write some other stuff ... from future happenings. Not sure if I use it but better have it already written down, right? Just to be sure.
> 
> Anyway. This chapter is a little goofy and expresses the happiness of passing an exam. Passing an exam for which you learned weeks or months and then hold the proof you passed ... god, this is a wonderful feeling. I didn't plan for this chapter to happen but it did. Still I ended up with a few things for future references. Not big but still there.
> 
> This is also way the chapter is rather short. In the futures chapters likely be at least double this length. And tend to leave little teasers at the endnotes for the upcoming chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

[Background Music – I feel good](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5TqIdff_DQ)

“Oh my fucking god!” Eren screamed as he danced happily through the small foyer. Staring at the paper he held in his hands. “Oh my fucking god!”

“What is it?” came a timid voice to his front.

The big green eyes illuminated the area. To push it you wouldn’t even need a light turned on, so bright were his eyes and his whole face beaming with emotion.

“THIS!” He said while waving around the paper. “Those are the test results!” Eren started shaking out of excitement. “AND I FUCKING PASSED! I REALLY DID IT!” He had advanced farther to the lean boy standing in the doorway to their common living room. “Armin, I really did it!” Saying those words Eren clutched onto Armin’s shoulders and began shaking him. “Can you believed that? Can you?”

“If you keep on shaking Armin like this he might pass out and this would not be out of excitement!” A calm voice said dryly to Eren’s right.

Confused Eren looked to his right before he broke out into a big grin. “I can start my internship now! Isn’t this awesome? I finally got there!”

Without further warning he latched onto her und spun her around. But it didn’t last long because something caused him to drop her. Something that nearly felt like a foot kicking his leg.

Eren growled and rubbed his leg. “That wasn’t necessary, Mika!”

She pulled up her red scarf to hide a rare small that graced her face. “Lucky you that you have ears because otherwise that grin would surround your whole head.”

“Not true!” Eren pouted. Brushing everything off he said: “Well, at least I can officially start my internship at the “Survey Medical Hospital!”

Compared to his roommates, Eren had to put more effort to learn to pass the exams and even get an internship. Sometimes it was not _fair_. Even when Eren complained about Armin and Mikasa being mean being that robbed and gathered all of the brain-power that he was left with nothing. But Eren’s determination to reach his goal is what kept him going. Even if it took him more time but his friends helped him wherever they can.

This letter for Eren meant so much more than for his friends. No, this was not entirely true because those two deserved it as much. But Eren had a goal in mind … something which was set within him since _years._ Know he had the opportunity set in front of him.

Eren _knew_ that Mikasa and Armin made it for sure. But him? They were reassuring him that he made it … that he gave up sleeping, eating and socializing to pass the test. He would get the notice of passing for sure. Their sweet talking didn’t help Eren this much. He was on etch. Hope was his companion but holding this letter made it reality.

“Good for you but didn’t our letters also arrive with the mail just know?” Armin asked Eren warily.

But Eren had been caught up in his own world since he heard the mail arriving. “I might have dropped them on the floor. Ouch! Fuck you, Mikasa! What was that for?” He glared at the raven haired girl whom knocked him over the head.

“Don’t be so selfish! You could have at least brought our letters too, you know? So up you go” she told him.

“Why …?” Eren started but shut his mouth at the narrowing eyes Mikasa pointed directly at him.

 _Scary,_ he thought.

If Eren would have watch Mikasa more thoroughly, he would have noticed that genuine smile that was hidden under the red scarf.

Armin just sighed. He knew there was no point in trying to interfere with their arguing. But he knew that there was no hostility between the two of them. Sometimes it looked like it would escalate but in the end they were just picking on each other like siblings would. That was it what Armin loved about his two roommates. They grew so close to not only becoming his friends, of whom he never really had a lot of because of being a weak nerd, but family.

They met on their introduction course in university years ago. If anyone would have told them that the three of them would end up together in the same apartment, they would have laughed in their faces. It was an awkward thought because of them being so different but it just felt right.

Strangers turned to friends. .Friends turned to family, a family that formed their own bond against all odds. Well, they moved in together two weeks ago, so maybe the living together would really teach them about themselves and maybe crush their pink coloured world for each other and they start hating each other.

It was heard that you could be best friends but when you decided to live together you were stuck with them on a small space.

Armin shook his head to clear his thoughts. There was no time for it anymore because he was ripped out of his little daydream when he was handed a letter excitedly.

After years of working hard they were finally able to pursue their dreams in the medical field.

“What is so funny, Armin?” Eren asked a startled Armin.

“I wasn’t laughing!”

“Maybe not but chuckling.”

“Thinking about your emotional state during our preparations for the USMLE and how you nearly broke apart!”

“I wasn’t that bad” the brunet defended himself. “I wasn’t, right?”

Mikasa sighed. “You were an emotional wreck, Eren. Not the usual energetic, happy goofball … you were serious, even more short-tempered than usual and you were not you.”

Being a bit embarrassed Eren covered his neck with his right arm. “You exaggerate!”

Armin shook his head smiling.

Upon seeing Eren’s face turning pink he started chuckling.

In the end all three were standing in their living room laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for next chapter:
> 
> Eren's POV on the night before starting his internship: 
> 
> It was my life goal to heal cancer or at least develop a new therapy, medication or whatever to help people survive cancer. To give them a chance in life and not make them suffer during their medical treatment.
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------
> 
> Do you like the idea of little teasers at the end?
> 
> Teasers could include:  
> chapter title  
> a short sentence  
> a paragraph  
> the POV  
> location of the next scene  
> characters appearing
> 
> Let me know :-)


	3. New Beginnings

**[Background Music – New Beginnings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s2wJIxc6ME) **

 

 

It was the 30th of June.

The night before Mika, Armin and I would finally be starting our internship.

Even though I was laughing with them, I still couldn’t grasp what was happening know. I feel anxious, happy, relieved but also nervous. What if I fail? What if the effort I put in before was not enough? What if it wouldn’t be enough form now on? Everything I am going to learn now isn’t going to be only from books but through a hands-on mentality. What if I can’t work with people? What if I fail everyone who believed in me? What if I _kill_ someone in the process? Will I ever have a chance of going through with my internship? With my goal to do my residency in oncology?

Fuck!

When did I start to doubt myself this badly? I’ve never worked myself up about this before. Why now? There were times before but I just had to lose my mind before starting the internship?

I _know_ that “Survey Medical Hospital” is the best when it comes to the department of oncology. A lot of people chose it to get their treatment there. Besides it still treated the patients as people and not only money producing machines.

That was also a reason why I chose “Survey Medical Hospital”. They had a good reputation with how they treated their patients, interns and every other single employee. But them having the best oncology department throughout this entire area, if not the best in the country, made it perfect. It was my life goal to heal cancer or at least develop a new therapy, medication or whatever to help people survive cancer. To give them a chance in life and not make them suffer during their medical treatment.

I have seen cancer patients in the past. How a lot of them were healed. How others broke that tried the treatment but were left to nothing when the therapy didn’t got the desired results. Then there were those who didn’t even got to get a treatment because the cancer was detected to late or was so aggressive that the treating doctors didn’t lie to them about having a chance. At least for the last category of patients this meant a lot. If there isn’t at least a bit of hope to survival and the death rate is rather higher … why give them false hope?

The “Survey Medical Hospital” stuff is known, no matter which department, to put their hearts into everything they did. But if they deemed the chances low, like really, really low, they discussed with the topic with the involved patient or family or next of a kin … they didn’t lie and make promises where there are none. If the patient decided to still get the medical treatment they wouldn’t refuse them but they wouldn’t force the patient with a wrong promise just to get money.

In the beginning I wanted to study medicine to get my father to notice me after my mother died. He acknowledged it somehow. But when I started and got deeper into the topic I figured I wanted it because I wanted it. After my mother died of cancer when I was in middle school I wanted to distribute something to this medical field and put everything I have into it. I don’t want anyone else to suffer to see their mother dying this way. Slow, painful and not being able to help.

This is what broke my father in the end.

I think …

Because when my mother fell sick he researched and became a workaholic just to find a way to be able to heal her. But all effort was useless and she still died. Instead of seeing I suffered too, my father was working around the clock. Nearly forgetting he had a son. I still had this stupid idea that he would start seeing me when I expressed my desire to study medicine. He sure was happy and supported me but we never really got close again.

My father is a famous cardiologist.

Another reason why I decided on “Survey Medical Hospital”. I didn’t want people connecting me to my father and having the wrong expectations. I want to be my own person and not have a different treatment than others. If it is on a too high level or me becoming a cardiologist … I am not my father.

Maybe he will acknowledge me when I become a good doctor in my field. Maybe he will be proud of me in the end. But what if he expected me to be like him? Me? as a cardiologist?

I won’t lie and say that I didn’t think about becoming a cardiologist and became a medical student because of wanting to be acknowledged by my father. But as said the longer I was into my medical education, the more I was pulled towards oncology and I found my place in the medical field. The longer I researched the more right it felt to study medicine.

Well, it seems that I won’t be sleeping much tonight. My brain thinks it is a good idea to keep me awake and thinking about everything and nothing. It sure is awake when it shouldn’t be and then it is absent when it should be present and help me.

Anyway, I can’t help it anymore.

But for me, this could be a new beginning. The past will always be part of me. There is no point in living there and thinking about things I don’t have power to change. I have to look forward and live in today to make a change in tomorrow.

It hurts that I lost my father even if he is still alive. He didn’t even make it to my graduation or presentations I held. I had the feeling that he didn’t care! Even though he promised he would come. He knew about the things that were important to me. But in the end he always had too much to do at the hospital.

I understand that. He is devoted to his job. My only desire was that he would feel the same way about me. Him being there for and supporting me but on the other hand not does take its toll on me. It feels like I also lost my father the day my mother was diagnosed with cancer. The day she was hospitalized because of her worsening condition my father distanced himself from me even more. Nowadays when I sat at dinner with him it was like I never knew him to begin with. Who is this stranger sitting in front of me? I know we are related by blood but the bond we once shared when I was little wasn’t there anymore.

He was such a doting father. Building sandcastles with me. Teaching me how to drive my bike. Waking me up early to make breakfast for Mom to surprise her. Though we usually left the kitchen in a chaotic state which she had to take care of. But she loved us for the little gesture of it. I miss this time. Even if I can’t get back my Mom, I want my father back by my side. But it seems the effort I am putting into our relationship doesn’t work out the way I want it to. And it fucks with my mind even more! No matter what we do or what we talk about seems to help this situation.

Don’t get me wrong. We still lived together, ate dinner, held conversations about how my day was, how his was and how I am doing at school. Telling him about my career choice of becoming a doctor like himself got him curious and proud. I had a feeling that I finally found my way back to him. That the year-long fighting turned out to bear its deserved fruits. My hope of growing closer to him again, were buried. It still takes its toll on me but if I keep living in the past I can’t make it to the future. I have to remind myself that to achieve what I want I have to start with something new. Beginning to think about my future but still have my past in my mind.

You can’t change your past. I know that. It will always be part of you. It formed part of you and taught you things which couldn’t be learned out of a book.

I kind of ended up being sappy and sounding mature for once. If people could only here my thoughts they would take me more seriously. Because of my character and my display of emotions people sometimes think I am goofball that needs constant attention. A person that is not able to do anything on their own and being stubborn about it. A suicidal bastard that is emotionally short-tempered.

But for me this is just a way to deal with things. My childhood after my mother fell ill was sad, colourless and I missed a lot of fun things to do and I learned to life again. Remaining in the past with people not even their kills a part of you. You can’t resurrect the dead and I live among the living, so I have to keep going.

I never tell people these things about me because I don’t want them to feel pity. Maybe they would call it concern? Want to help me? Be my rock in the raging storm?

But then again they would know who my father is! I don’t want that! But that seemed to be the destiny of everyone that had famous people. I don’t want to be known as the son of … I want to be recognized for my own being.

In the medical sector it seemed that I was the only one that didn’t want to have a push from being related or knowing someone famous that could help me pursue my career. Call my thinking fucked up but it is better this way. For me this was the only way to prove that I could be as good as a doctor as my father without people knowing who he is.

Besides wouldn’t the people around me try to convince me to meet my father? Because in my lectures throughout my studies there were a lot references to my father specific fields of medicine, especially in cardiology. He was the best this country had and people aiming as cardiologist were aiming to be him. Others, who didn’t want to turn to this field, had him as idol to lead them to become the best in the medical field they were aiming for.

Anyway, thinking like this isn’t like me. Usually I jump into action without thinking much about the consequences.

So, why am I thinking about this stuff now?

If I knew, I wouldn’t have this fucking head-ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: "Today My Life Begins"


	4. Chapter 3 - Today My Life Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren meets Levi

[Background Music – Today My Life Begins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsqpdsgJxDc)

 

 

I watched the time tick by. The only productive thing I did in my bedroom today was turning from one to the other side … like a damn turkey. But the more I tried to fall asleep, even though I was dead tired, I couldn’t. I even tried warm milk spiked with honey. Started counting sheep and got bored after two-hundred.

When that didn’t work I even got up to take a bath. Shit happened and Mikasa ended standing in the bathroom, which I looked. How the hell did she get in the locked bathroom? Never knew that she had such a light slumber, what she told me. In the beginning she thought, with the noise I made that I was breaking in. But honestly? What kind of thief breaks into an apartment to take a bath?

Well, that did shut her up. She left after I kindly reminded her that remaining rooted in the bathroom while I was still inside the bathtub … _naked_ … worst thing was that Mikasa shrugged her shoulders, as if to say that she doesn’t mind … duh …. I did mind. But anyway, she thankfully left.

After an hour I got out of the bathtub because the water started to turn cold. Cold water is horrible if you want to relax and try to fall asleep. The chilly wetness ended up to wake me up more. There really was no point in trying to sleep any longer … or even to try to fall asleep!

This sucks!

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

At least this was what Eren thought would happen. The second his head hit the pillow after his refreshing and relaxing bath he fell dead asleep. He didn’t even hear his alarm going off beside him. Eren was thinking positive about being woken up by his clock early morning because he would sleep. Besides, it wasn’t the first time he overslept his alarm. During his time as a med student he constantly overheard the alarm even if it was set. Usually it was his roommate that got so annoyed by the continuous clamour that Eren was woken up in an unruly manner.

The same happened this morning when Mikasa listened to the ringing for about five minutes before she burst into Eren’s room and dumped one in ice cold water trenched towel on his face. This action ended with Eren thinking he drowned and with him fighting for his live, fell hard out of his bed. The loud thump that was followed by this uncommon way of getting out of bed, brought Armin to stage.

“I told Mikasa to give you a little bit of time!” He said looking inside Eren’s room.

Mikasa responded unemotionally, “It is the only way to wake Eren up when he is fast asleep. You should already know that, Armin. At least I was more friendly than Jean.”

Upon hearing the name of his former roommate and now also an intern joining them at Survey Medical Hospital, Eren grimaced. “Fuck that horseface!”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

I was nervous.

Fuck that … I was totally wasted from excitement and nervousness.

In front of me there was this beautiful five floors high building, the façade a radiant white. I read that it was reconstructed the year before. The entrance was represented by a large double door made out of dark wood, the colour an evenly brown. Atop the door a semi-circular arch made of the same brown framed a window. At both sides of the door there where windows floor length. Actually the windows throughout the building were huge. Just looking at it and you knew that there was a lot of sun coming inside – not when the weather was bad but you get the idea – and were able to watch the breathtaking view into the park. When you had to stay inside the whole day and weren’t able to go outside, at least there was the possibility to watch a bit of artificial nature. I actually could see myself spending my free time at the little pond. Even in winter or on rainy days when being outside wouldn’t be appealing. But breathing fresh air always got me cooled down a bit.

“If you don’t stop being such a brat and don’t start to fucking listen, I am not going to explain this shit to you again!”

What the hell!?

Oh, seems I was caught up in my thoughts that I totally forgot where I was heading to. Well, compared to the other interns I was already told that I wouldn’t start my day with them at the general admission but rather the department I was assigned to.

“Huh?”

The person in front of me was … shorter than me. The grey eyes fixed on me.

I kind of feel stripped off of my clothes as this person watched me.

Is this even watching?

That is an uneasy feeling.

“Great, absolutely great. I have to take care of a retarded brat. Get your fuck together, I don’t have all day!”

I frowned at the man in front of me. Who the hell does he think he is?

“Doctor Jaeger. I see that you already met Doctor Ackerman …” a voice to my left said in a monotonous voice.

Doctor? Ackerman?

No … fucking … way

There had to be a mistake. This man standing face to face to me couldn’t be the infamous cardiologist Doctor Ackerman, right? This guy seemed so … vulgar and … well, short.

“It is good to see you again.” Ah, Doctor Zackly. I met him before at the interviews. Meeting was too farfetched but I saw him briefly. Seemed like a genuine person. “Doctor Ackerman is going to be your mentor for your assigned time within the cardiology department. He requested for you immediately.”

Oh my god!

This was seriously THE doctor Ackerman.

Wait, repeat …. “Requested … me?”

“Tch” the person opposite of me expressed annoyed if the eyes rolling would have been a sign to go by. “Not that I had any choice in this shitty decision.”

Doctor Zackly seemed to ignore what Doctor Ackerman was saying, though I couldn’t – well it was hard to not notice what he said. “Usually interns have the whole day scheduled with administrative activity, like a tour around the hospital, receiving their access codes and cards, having introductions and presentations from the head of departments.” He paused and looked at me with tired eyes. Didn’t he get enough sleep? Thinking about it, he even looked like that when I first saw him.

“Then give him his goddamn ID and get this shit formalities over with. I don’t have all day” Doctor Ackerman interrupted rudely while crossing his arms.

Is he really allowed to talk to Doctor Zackly, his superior, like that?

His eyes narrowed on me.

I definitely felt uncomfortable with this intense look here.

Reminds me of Mikasa. She also was able to have a look like this.

This seemed to be a common characteristic with people going by the name of Ackerman.

No, they were not related. That was the first thing I asked her excitedly when I learned her surname. She kindly – in her own way – told me that not every Ackerman person was related. Be it by marriage or blood relation, there was always the possibility that it was coincidence. Ackerman wasn’t this uncommon she said. This could have fooled me right now. Because that glare was exactly the same. Was this really certain that they were not related? I had to ask her again – just to be sure.

It wasn’t until now that I felt the eyes lingering on me from the other interns. Mikasa and Armin looked confused. Their glance asking ‘What is going on?’.

Like if I knew.

I didn’t consider not being able to get into the conference room with the other interns and being stopped at the entrance by none other than Doctor Ackerman himself – and Doctor Zackly.

“These are your papers” Doctor Zackly interrupted my intellectual game.

From where did he get that envelop?

Did he have it from the beginning?

Most likely but I was occupied with other things and persons within my catchment area that I didn’t pay attention to small details like someone carrying an envelope. I might have been entranced by those grey eyes that still were focused on me.

Were his eyes grey or a light blue?

I couldn’t make it out from where I was standing.

But why would I pay attention to something like that?

Those were definitely a unique pair of eyes.

“Take picture? It’ll last you longer, brat!” my thoughts were interrupted by a deep – really deep – voice.

Fuck! This was embarrassing.

But I wasn’t the only one that was starring. He did too!

Wait, why was I defending myself?

When did I get that envelop in my hand?

“Have a good day, Doctor Jaeger!” Doctor Zackly said while turning around. My eyes fixed on his retreating figure. He didn’t look that impressive either because of his height but he radiated an aura that spoke of wisdom, knowledge and life experience. He was also the reason that “Survey Medical Hospital” gained that standing it represented now. Years in the past it was a hospital that was close to looking its doors forever. Then Zackly bought the hospital and rebuild it from scratch. He invested in the newest technology – be it equipment or ways of therapies – acted as a head hunter for promising medical personnel. It took him a few years but as time started to pass the hospital became known to be one of the most rising and promising medical institutions on the east coast and the reputation grew ever since with Zackly being in charge of the whole hospital.

Why I knew those things? I educated myself to decide which hospital I wanted to do my internship with and raising my chances of it being part of my residency. They became pioneers in the field of oncology, the field I desired to specialize in and that SMH’s mission statement covered my own led also to my decision to apply here.

“Less starring and more walking, brat!” Doctor Ackerman said.

With a short look back towards my friends I retorted: “My name is not ‘brat’. It is Eren Jaeger!” Doctor Ackerman turned around and pinned me down with this gaze of his. “Sir”, I added timidly.

“Like I care.” He turned his back towards me and started walking down the aisle. “I’ve got better things to do than babysit a fucking brat.”

How rude.

For a shorty he was pretty fast. I never expected to be nearly forced to run to be able to keep up with his pace.

“I haven’t even said anything” I complained. “What pissed you off?”

“You, obviously” he answered.

I formed a fist with my right hand. “You don’t even know me.”

“Every brat is annoying!”

“I already told you that my name is Eren Jaeger.”

God! This guy started to really piss me off. He might be the best cardiologist but I never expected him to be such a bastard. Maybe he does have to compensate for his lacking height and another area? That had to be it!

Before I could react I was hardly pressed against the wall. Doctor Ackerman gripped my collar and tightened his grip.

“Hey … let … go” I pressed.

“What the fuck did you say?” he hissed.

If I thought that I was breathing hard before, he even made it more difficult for me to breath. I gripped at his hands and tried to pull them off.

“What – the – fuck – did – you –say!” Each word was followed by a shake and push against the wall.

Wasn’t there anyone in this hallway? Fuck! I was going to die here!

Wait, no! I wasn’t!

I kicked against his leg but he immediately pushed his knee in my thigh.

“Don’t even try it you fucked up brat!” I could feel his breath in my face. “I hate repeating myself. Did you call my short?”

“What?”

I made the mistake and looked into his stormy eyes. They looked fierce and murderous.

“You should learn to keep your mouth shot. You weren’t so quiet expressing your thoughts, brat.”

Fuck!

“You know, complaints aren’t going to look good in your resume. It is going to fuck it and everyone else is going to make sure to keep a close eye on you. If you fuck up three times in a row you can forget your internship here and everywhere else.” A smirk graced his small lips. There was even a sparkling in his eyes. I couldn’t look at him. I tried to look everywhere but him but he was so entrancing that I couldn’t look away. “No one wants a fucked up brat that doesn’t have any manners and respect towards its seniors.”

I didn’t expect Doctor Ackerman to let me go so suddenly. My knees buckled. If it wouldn’t have been for the wall to support me I would have ended up on the floor. I rubbed my neck which burned a bit. While looking at him he already had turned around and started walking again.

“I am going to watch you. I am going to make you regret every fucking mistake you make.” He turned to face me. “I am going to make sure that you fuck up! I never wanted to deal with a brat anyway but it seemed that everyone has to swallow the pill once.”

The look on his face promised pain and torture.

“Killing two birds with one stone – I get rid of you and will never have to waste my time with a brat ever again.”

I was too shocked to even react to it. Years of working hard to get here and this bastard was threatening me to destroy everything? Now? Now when I finally started to blast my chains?

“Fuck you!” I shouted.

I definitely should have learned to shut my mouth before I spoke – or start thinking before I spoke.

“You really think you threat is going to scare me away? This is what I always wanted! I waited for it and – _to hell_ – if I don’t take and get it.”

Doctor Ackerman stopped in his tracks. On his face there was an emotion visible – I think. He had an eyebrow raised.

“This is my life and you are not going to destroy it.”


End file.
